A Celebration for the Life of Nicola Louise Newman ‘Nicky’
8th October 1987 - 17th September 2023
Wednesday 11th October 2023 - Guildford Crematorium 1.30pm
Entrance Music: A Dream is a Wish Your Heart Makes From Cinderella Welcome
Hello and welcome my name is Julie and it is my privilege to lead this ceremony as we celebrate the life of Nicola Louise Newman known to all as Nicky.
May I thank you all, on behalf of Nicky’s family for coming here today to share in the love and respect you have for her and to give your support to her family. Our thoughts turn for a moment to those who are unable to be with us, know that they are thinking of you, and remembering Nicky in their own special way, at this sad time. Her family have been overwhelmed by the amount of messages they have received via Instagram, Facebook, in cards and by text, messages of support and condolences, and memories shared; for this they thank you all. Nicky was such a special lady, hence why there are so many of you here today.
The last few months, years, have been a real rollercoaster for Nicky and her family, they thought they had more time… but sadly it wasn’t to be and she passed away peacefully on the 17th September… taken too soon.
Nicky remained her strong, funny self, right up to the end and it is that strength her family needs to draw on going forward. She would not wish for you to be sad for too long, she would want you to carry on the way you always did, so talk about the good times, continue the banter and let us celebrate that she was here, that she lived, loved and laughed leaving you all so many memories to cherish.
When you are given a cancer diagnosis for some it is something you wish to keep to yourselves, not Nicky… perhaps inspired by the ‘You, Me & The Big C’ podcast she too decided to help others by sharing her journey, the good, the bad and the ugly. And boy did she help, collaborating with others and raising so much money, and awareness, to help her chosen charities, which today are the Woking & Sam Beare Hospice & TYAC (Teenage and Young Adult Cancer) at The Royal Surrey County Hospital, that will be the recipient of any donations you may wish to make in loving memory of Nicky; details on how to do so are on the back of your ‘Order of Service’.
Nicky was a huge fan of Disney and theme park rides. I blame the parents! 😊
I first met with Glenda and Bob, Nicky’s parents, when I led John, Glenda’s father’s ceremony, Nicky’s grandfather. This time it was for her own ceremony, as requested by Nicky, along with Alex and his mum Jane. They told me how from a young age Nicky showed no fear and they, along with Nicky’s older sister Kirsty, would spend many hours at Thorpe Park, Chessington World of Adventures and Disney World in Florida. At Disney, one of Nicky’s favourite zones, was the Magic Kingdom where there is a ride called Splash Mountain… if you’ve been you may know where this is leading… Nicky asked for the ride’s song to be played here today. May it bring a smile to your face and warmth to your hearts and perhaps an earworm 😊
Musical Tribute Everybody’s Got a Laughing Place by James Baskett
I would like to hand you over to Kirsty.
Reading Cristopher Robin to Winnie the Pooh
If ever there is tomorrow when we're not together... there is something you must remember. You are braver than you believe, stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think; but the most important thing is, even if we're apart... I’ll always be with you.
The bond between sisters is a unique one and the bond I had with Nicola was certainly that. We weren’t the closest of sisters growing up, some would say we were chalk and cheese. Nicola was rebellious, something she continued to be throughout her life, and I was the goodie two shoes. We became closer as we grew up and experienced life together creating shared memories some of which I would like to share with you all now:
When Nicola was born, my grandad and I sat on the stairs at home and waited for news of her arrival. I will never forget meeting her for the first time wearing a bright yellow cardigan and realising I was now a big sister.
I have thousands of amazing memories from our 14 holibobs to Disney World in Florida as we grew up. Convincing her to ride the Tower of Terror and hearing her screech with excitement as the elevator dropped, tipping up each other’s rubber rings on the lazy river at Typhoon Lagoon and laughing so hard it hurt, her absolute refusal to go on the Haunted Mansion but it quickly becoming her favourite ride… once she plucked up the courage to go on it! Her love of thunderstorms is well known, and we experienced so many amazing and sometimes scary storms during these holidays. My favourite Disney memory was us riding Big Thunder Mountain at night as the July 4th fireworks lit up the sky around us.
We both loved musicals and had a shared obsession with Hamilton so much so that we had a sing off in the car as we drove to my wedding venue – she was word perfect of course!
I was honoured to be her maid of honour and see her marry her lobster and Chris and I are so thankful that she was able to return the favour and be my maid of honour at our wedding just 5 months ago.
I have a million other beautiful memories of us which I will treasure forever and hold close in my heart. I also have a million other things I want to say about you but for now I will just say this…
Flo – I am so proud of you, and I want you and everyone to know that it was a privilege to be your big sister. I promise to go grab life in your honour.
I will see you again, I love you, sleep well.
Nicky’s Story
Nicky loved to tell a story and today it is my turn to tell her story, so hopefully you are sitting comfortably and I shall begin.
Once upon a time there was a beautiful young lady called Nicky, who was born to devoted parents Bob and Glenda one very windy night in the old St Lukes hospital, Guildford. Nicky led, what could be considered, a charmed life along with her wonderful sister called Kirsty who we have just heard from. She lived and grew up in the family home, attended her local schools, in Merrow, Bushy Hill, finishing at George Abbot School, where the only classes she really enjoyed were the ones where she could be creative.
Nicky met her Prince Charming, Alex, whilst a teenager, a mutual friend, Mat Smith, introduced them. They dated on and off through their teens but the path of true love doesn’t always run smooth… Lets just say Nicky was the cool girl who smoked, as Alex will tell you, and he, as much as she liked him, was on the short side and not in the cool gang! That was until one fateful night they were both in a nightclub called Time, in Guildford, which used to be called Cinderella’s. Alex had grown up, literally he was now taller than her, and they reconnected dancing the night away. They started to date once more but cautiously until one day at a family gathering, Alex’s nan, Francis, said, “Are you two going out or what?” That was the night they made their relationship official.
Nicky’s family welcomed Alex with open arms as did his family Nicky, his mum Jane, dad Andy and Charlie his younger brother. Both families could not have been happier when after a few years of dating they witnessed Nicky and Alex, saying their I do’s on 27th July 2014 at Guildford Registrar’s. Going on to the Guildford Golf Club, to celebrate, with much drinking, eating and dancing. A fairytale beginning.
They still had their ups and downs, as with all marriages. Alex was a morning person… Nicky not so much, in fact probably best not to speak to her before she had, had her morning coffee and 2 biscuits. A heavy smoker, when they ready to have children Nicky gave up at once, just like that, once her mind was set there was no turning her. We all know the nightmare that followed as Nicky would say, “What you go through doesn’t define you.” She was so strong and a little stubborn. It was during this time when Loki the cat came into their lives.
Work wise Nicky’s first job was in her local Sainsbury’s, moving on to Lloyds Bank, then she worked as a finance assistant at Asset Funding. Though she truly found her vocation when she became an Influencer on Instagram, a place where she could be as creative as she wished… but only in portrait as that was the best format for Insta. The brightest stars burn the fastest, so we must love them while we can. Said Anna Todd. There is no doubt that Nicky was so loved, there is no doubt that hearts are broken.
Over the next few years Nicky and Alex, joined by family at times, travelled a lot, real ‘living list’ trips such as seeing the Northern Lights, in Finland, snorkelling in the Maldives, Jamaica and of course Disney, both in Paris and Florida. They packed a lot of living into the last five years.
Nicky became a shining light for so many and she adopted the symbol of a Lightning Bolt, which for her represents, strength and positivity. A single bolt of lightning lights up the world for an instant, just as she did, may her light continue to shine brightly in the thoughts and deeds of those she has loved.
Take a moment now to recall a favourite memory you may have of Nicky as we listen to one of her favourite songs from Hamilton. As you do I invite you to turn your gaze to the screens where photos of Nicky’s life will play before your eyes.
Visual Tribute & Reflection Music Helpless from the show Hamilton
Closing words
The grief of time passing, of life moving on half-finished, of empty spaces that were once bursting with the laughter and energy of people we loved. As long as there is love there will be grief because grief is love’s natural continuation. It shows up in the aisles of stores we once frequented, in the half-finished bottle of wine we pour out, in the whiff of perfume we get two years after they’ve gone. Grief is a giant neon sign, protruding through everything, pointing everywhere, broadcasting loudly, "Love was here." In the finer print, quietly, “Love still is.” Heidi Priebe wrote, As long as there is love, there will be grief.
‘Shit happens’ as Nicky and Bob would say to each other, Nicky leaves such a huge legacy for all to see. Her creative designs are all over her home and her Insta feed and they will continue to be a lasting memory and continue to reflect the beautiful, passionate, kind and creative young lady Nicky was.
I don’t doubt many more stories will be shared with much laughter through the tears as you gather after our ceremony at the Guildford Golf Club, where Nicky’s family warmly welcome you to join them.
Khalil Gibran wrote, “When you are sorrowful, look again in your heart and you shall see that in truth you are weeping for that which has been your delight.”
Please may I ask you to stand. The day we all knew would come is here, much too soon, for now though it is the time for Nicky’s curtain call. As it was for Alexander Hamilton, who at the point of his curtain call spoke of those who have gone before being on the other side, waiting for him and says, “My love, take your time. I’ll see you on the other side.”
Alex is a huge gamer and one of his favourite games to play is the Witcher… it has a beautiful piece of music which he would leave to play, at Nicky’s request, long after he had stopped playing. It is to this piece of music, The Fields of Ard Skellig, that our curtains will be closing. As they do gather up all the love you have for Nicky and send it with her.
Curtain Call The Fields of Ard Skellig by Christine Slagman from the Witcher 3.